Category: Blog

A well-trained Buddhist Monk will notice that people have many different personality types, with inclinations toward one another and a range of ways to explore those different types. A good personality test will be able to give us some insight into those personality patterns.

A good personality test will ask about the following personality types:

o dominant dynamics

o social awareness

o practicality

o a affective demeanor

o a Galilean approach to life

These structure types are part of the introjectives matrix, a personality vocabulary of cutting edge concepts, restraints, controls and habits.

o a Melancholy temperament

o a Naturalistic admires environment, beauty, and cultural values.

When people are at ease, their positive creative flow can be observed. People who want to be in control, however, may assertively voice their objections when they are not being listened too. People who are in a state of flow, where they effortlessly absorb life’s opportunities, will appear to be having, problem-free lives, doing what they want and going where they want.

When people feel wantonly trapped, their lives will be severely restricted. As people’s energies rise, so will their vitality and ideas begin to move forward. People who are beginning to feel some sense of incapacity for manipulative moves may feel the need to unconstrain themselves and will end up giving up orChanging their lifestyles.

A person who is incapable of letting go of certain habits or patterns of behavior will tend to repeat those same methods of behavior in relationships, such as non- marital relationships, so that the situation will not change. A Melancholy person who is incapable of moving on because of the habits he/she is so attached to will tend to cling to a relationship Expectant people (and people who expect certain things) will tend to get resentful when those things don’t happen.

Melancholies will tend to be attached to the familiar, and as such, will tend to keep coming back to situations that are familiar to them, or to situations in which they were completely frustrated before. If you meet aMelancholy in a relationship, it is likely that he/she will cling to the familiar–identity–out of fear of change, so that they may feel safe. If you are already familiar to them, this may not be such a concern, but as a Loved One, expect them to honor the marriage relationship if it is, or remains, a love relationship. Sexuality and relationship are, after all, sexual reflections.

Melancholies may seek relief from their own emotional pain through a familiar and comfortable situation or through a relationship situation. This would beMichelle union, orMichelle and John marriage. This would beJohn,John,me marriage. We who are Melancholies cannot honor the commitment; the other can. John cannot honor his commitment to himself if he is also expecting something from you. He may be afraid to let you know what he actually wants, because he does not know what he wants. He will hurriedly throw something into your mind to justify his closeness, so that he excuses histruefeelings.

These concerns–about expecting too much from people–come from an ego attachment of self-expectation. Ego attachment is the feeling of having to live up to someone’s expectations. There is never enough love or too little, which are the 2 major aspects of the ego.

John would say, “I want her to be everything I can be for her.” And, you would say, “John, how can I be her everything that she can be?” In choosing to be her, John would totally ignore the substance of her desire and consciously remain in denial of it with the intention of covering it up. In elapsed time, he would have his way with her, controlling her, changing her, stagnating in the shallow end, getting what he wants and threats, leaving her without power or self-identity.

John would prefer the familiar, respectable way to the risk and challenge of being truly her. John would prefer to do it all himself so that he can control the familiar, maintain control of the familiar and attain the familiar, and put up with anything he has a mind to put up with. A Melancholy cannot maintain a marriage, or any relationship, with John. They divorce if John does not like what he sees, or if one of the partners decides to seek divorce.

A Melancholy cannot be her best friend. For Melancholy, thy friend is thyself! If thy friend or mate does not have a Melancholy mind, he is not her friend; and thy are not her Melancholy. selves!

Guided by a variety of theories about how we are wired, our brain is sophisticated throughout much of its life, and we develop certain traits and tendencies as biologically hardwired. These writers all agree on the existence of an internal mental framework or mental world in all of us. Yet, they also share a skeptical attitude to the accuracy of assessing and describing that mental framework. They find personality “the best way to understand the mind.”

This seems to me a perfect statement for the position of a psychologist since quite a bit of the literature in the past 75 years or so has been devoted to the study of the ways in which we interact with and are affected by the mental world that we live in. To pay homage to the observable reality of how our minds interact with our five senses, much of the common literature has focused on the interpersonal dimensions of personality. This would include thoughts, feelings and sensations, attitudes and beliefs, values and perceptions. These all seem to be observable personality characteristics or employ them in much the same way. Because there is so much literature, and a great deal of it makes sense, it is often hard to separate and analyze the research findings due to the broad range of these same descriptions.

We need to be able to describe in terms of observable human cognitive and emotional interaction. Unfortunately, much of the personality literature has been cross-linked to an assumption about brain function that has no real evidence and is not supported by science. Furthering this myth to describe an inborn set of traits, more of the research has pointed to an assumption inborn genetic framework. The proverbial: “The truth shall set you free.”

But another perspective to consider would be to observe how our perceived reality is both influenced by and controlled by our beliefs. None of us really know because we can only know our own perceptions of reality, but we can make some inferences based on what we believe to be true for us. An important aspect of personality is our successes and failures that are manifested in the choices we make. The concepts of trait and behavior could be used to examine the relationships between characteristic attributes and outcomes. The broader your beliefs, the more likely you will be to create outcomes that you believe you wish.

For instance, as I write this, my outlook about my emotional world changes. I relate to a friend who has suffered with depression and published a book challenging modern understandings and theories of the mind and behavior. Every time I read new information from that book or associates see the shared items, I notice myself relate to them. What did I say about the universe or the mind?

Stress is unhealthy and we cannot always control those forces that bring us down. However, we are not always free from our mind allowing us to project upon people. We confuse our perceptions by focusing on a perceived ideal picture of our surroundings, our actions and the results we wish to achieve.

As human beings, each human has unique personalities that are not necessarily the same. The test of a personality is not necessarily a methodical process but an intuitive and dynamic process that involves an individual and his or her motivations. People transform personalities, and therefore, behaviors and they are not always the same. The testing of a personality is not only interesting but very important. As psychotherapists, we know the unique personalities that function in different situations, and we know a great deal more about behaviors involving subjects of our clinical practice than most people realize.

When we assess personalities to accurately determine health or disease conditions, we must first clearly define what a personality is. Last year, the American Psychiatric Association defined a personality as a set of behavioral patterns and paraphilias. People who meet the following criteria have a set of coherent, convictions, values, and moral guidelines. Personality disorder, when addressed in a clinical setting, is a set of symptoms and disorders that are not always explainable by medical criteria. Also, Understanding the 145 different types of gradients or developmental types of personality disorders in people explains how multiple factors interact with each other to shape the individual. Again, different types of personality disorders revolve around different kinds of attunements from attachment relationships to financial and social status.

As humans, we matter to other humans. The ability of one person to count on someone else to respond to her needs, and to allow other people to count on her to respond to her needs is a basic human need. When these basic needs are not met they can react in the most unpleasant ways. When a child is born, we assume that the child will automatically get it. This is not necessarily so. Many times a person needs someone else to help them get it when they cannot help themselves. The different steps taken by a child, which will help him to become independent and grow comfortable, rely upon the caregiver’s intervention. The final step in independent growth is to ask for what you need.

Many times when I have been trying to figure out whether a person has a personality disorder I will ask the question, “is the person easily upset with things that do not go their way?” Often, the answer is yes, but it might also be that they are great at tolerating other people. And, of course, some people may show great potential to become human beings. These are the people who, on a whole, thrive under a certain set of circumstances. These are the people who may need to grow some more before they can eat, sleep, share their feelings, or behave effectively.

In my clinic I have often talked to parents who are seriously disturbed by decisions or behavior in their family. I have heard parents describe their children as manipulative, poor at sharing their feelings, and demanding or controlling. Many will say that they hardly speak to their children and even when they do their language is sometimes rude. Some children will play the victim and blame their parents for all their problems. A number of children even expressed an agreement with their parents that they never explain what they are doing or how they are thinking. These children are often less emotionally stable than their peers.

A parent described a child who was deaf in one of her children. She complained that her other children were getting very angry with her son for his deafness and she would not even get him to go to school. The other children, usually, allowed the deaf boy to accommodate his deafness. The deaf boy, however, would tear up when the school nurse gave him his lunch. Although this boy was not mentally handicapped he was not easy to deal with. He wanted, he stated, to eat his meal quietly and honor his mealtime. He wanted to eat at his own pace, to feed himself. The school nurse, through her positive attitude, was able to facilitate this unusual behavior. The child and his siblings all got to eat at normal times and school was a better place for them all. I believe that a very small percentage of primary and secondary school children meet the complete criteria for mental retardation. The vast majority of children are able to usefully interact with their peers and participate in social exchanges and classroom social activities. Many children of mental retardation do not grow up to follow social rules. Their social skills are more associated with being self-reliant. If these children are helped, and they are helped relatively well, they usually develop normal emotional responses to issues in life that are similar to those of their peers with normal developmental skills. It is convenient to compare a child to a sibling or to the typical caregiver. As I see it, all children share similar character traits.